I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
