everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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