You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
