we're blogging at a bar
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Randomize
