dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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