somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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