she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
