i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
