mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
