I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
