I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
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