I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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