so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
