Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
