Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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