guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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