so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Randomize