you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
