I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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