I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
