??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
