He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
