Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Randomize
