Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize