i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
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