im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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