Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
