Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
