worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
