do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
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