low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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