Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize