why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
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