yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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