Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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