Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I just want nice things and good sex
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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