Don't make out with my wife yet
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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