you guys were way drunker than both of me
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Randomize
