When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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