i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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