Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
