yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Randomize
