The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
