Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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