Non-Jews are for practice
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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