well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
