Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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