never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize