Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
i need some magic done to my vagina
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
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