Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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