I wish i was in the wii world.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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