I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
