you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
