i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Edward fifth and chaser hands
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
