A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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