am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Randomize
