Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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