is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
