i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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