we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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