that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
