I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
