We named our party play list daddy issues
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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