You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
