I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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