oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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