There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
