just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
