I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Of course I have a pirate flag
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
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