She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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