There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize